awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
