I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
