Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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