Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
