Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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