I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
