You work out of a Hotel?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
