Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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