so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
