laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jรคger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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