i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
