She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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