at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
