she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
