Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
