this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
