In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
