My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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