Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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