Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hippo gnu deer
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
