i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
