There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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