I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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