There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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