that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
