Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
