i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
