I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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