Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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