What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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