I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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