I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
