So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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