dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
