When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
