Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
