Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
