its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
