My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
