A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
