I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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