I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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