hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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