k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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