No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
do nipples grow back?
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