She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
