he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
