Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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