dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
