All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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