did you get engaged???
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
