ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
