why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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