He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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