Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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