We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Alive.
So much puke
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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