we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
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