so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
