been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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