I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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