Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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