I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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