I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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